Funny Lingo
from the
THE FAR EASTERN ECONOMIC REVIEW
By Nury Vittachi
THERE'S A SIGN ON Congressional Avenue in Manila that says:
"Parking for Costumers Only ." This may be a
misspelling of "customer." But the Philippine capital is so full of theatrical,
brightly dressed individuals that I prefer to think it may actually mean what it
says.
This week, we'll take a reading tour of one of the most spirited communities in
Asia. The Philippines is full of wordplay . The local accent, in which
F and P are
fairly interchangeable, is often used very cleverly, such as at the flower shop
in Diliman called Petal Attraction. Much of
the wordplay in the Philippines is deliberate, with retailers favouring witty
names, often based on Western celebrities and movies.
Reader Elgar Esteban found a bread shop called Anita
Bakery, a 24-hour restaurant called Doris
Day and Night,, a garment shop called
Elizabeth Tailoring and a hairdresser called
Felix The Cut.
Smart travellers can decipher initially baffling signs by simply trying out a
Taglish (Tagalog-English) accent, such as that used on a sign at a restaurant in
Cebu: " We Hab Sop-Drink In Can An In Batol
." A sewing accessories shop called Beads And Pieces
also makes use of the local accent.
Of course, there are also many signs with oddly chosen words, but they are
usually so entertaining that it would be a tragedy to "correct" them. A reader
named Antonio "Tonyboy" Ramon T. Ongsiako (now there's a truly Filipino name)
found the following: In a restaurant in Baguio: "
Wanted: Boy Waitress;" on a highway in Pampanga: "We
Make Modern Antique Furniture;" on the window of a photography shop
in Cabanatuan: " We Shoot You While You Wait;"
on the glass wall of an eatery in Panay Avenue in Manila: "Wanted:
Waiter, Cashier, Washier ."
Some of the notices one sees are thought-provoking. A shoe store in Pangasinan
has a sign saying: " We Sell Imported Robber Shoes."
Could these be the sneakiest sort of sneakers? On a house in Jaro, Iloilo , one
finds a sign saying: "House For Rent, Fully Furnaced."
Tonyboy commented, "Boy, it must be hot in there." Occasionally, the signs are
quite poignant. Reader Gunilla Edlund saw one at a ferry pier outside Davao ,
southern Philippines, which said: "Adults: 1USD; Child:
50 cents; Cadavers: subject to negotiation."
But most are purely witty, and display a love of Americana. Reader Robert
Harland spotted a bakery named Bread Pitt, a
Makati fast-food place selling maruya (banana fritters) called
Maruya Carey, a water-engineering firm called
Christopher Plumbing, a boutique called
The Way We Wear, a video rental shop called
Leon King Video Rental, a restaurant in the
Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken
, a local burger restaurant called Mang Donald's,
a doughnut shop called MacDonuts, a shop
selling lumpia (meat parcels) in Makati called Wrap and
Roll, and two butchers called Meating Place
and Meatropolis.
Tourists from Europe may be intrigued to discover shops called
Holland Hopia and
Poland Hopia. Both sell a type of Chinese pastry called hopia. What's
the story? The names are explained thus: Holland Hopia is the domain of a man
named Ho and Poland Hopia is run by a man named Po.
People in the Philippines also redesign English to be more efficient. "The
creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than just simple
unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new words," says reader
Rob Goodfellow. He came across a sign that said " House Fersallarend."
Why use five words (house for sale or rent) when two will do?
Tonyboy Ongsiako explains why there was so much wit in the Philippines. "We come
from a country where you require a sense of humour to survive," he says. "We
have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and a huge reserve of
comedians made up mostly of politicians and bad actors."